It's a very long time since I visited the park where it all started for me, and what has always seemed impossible in my mind was today much easier than I ever imagined, it looks very different now and there does seem to be a kind of clean up going on, the underbrush has gone, everywhere is tidy again, lots and lots of trees have been felled, so it was a much more open and inviting environment but also a little sad, as many of the places I played as a child have gone and I doubt there will be another sighting at Buile Hill, but who knows what the future will bring?
My husband accompanied me, along with a new friend that I hope will become a long time friend, he is a new up and coming researcher who I feel will be of great benefit to anybody experiencing the spiritual side of the BigFoot people as he has a far better knowledge than I of that area of the research, I was very nervous and at times tearful, but he did make me feel comfortable and safe enough to try again and thankfully today I managed to return. The old house is still locked up but it just seems that all the old growth has been removed. So I was able to see the place where I saw him all those years ago.
There were four large ornamental stones outside the mansion, large boulder type rocks each different in type, one was limestone and another was Volcanic rock, he other bouder had quartz within it, but my favourite was the Elephant Stone (its shape was like an elephant's back) and I played on this rock a million times as a child, it was a little sad to see that they had gone. The sighting area itself was no longer overgrown. So it was much easier for me to show my friend where the account took place, where i was sitting that day, and where He was, and for me it felt quite emotional. We did notice however that the sensory garden even after almost 40 years was still giving out amazing scents, it smelled of garlic, even in the pouring rain that scent prevailed over everything else, try to imagine that on a warm Summer's Day mixed with Rosemary, Lavender, Thyme, Sage and a whole abundance of others Herbs and Wild edibles.
We could not access the actual area itself as it was fenced off, and not accessible to my wheelchair, we could see all corners of the house now and the Stones were no longer there and that was a little disappointing for me, as I feel please they may fit in with my megalithic theory, ( all of the UK sightings are within an easy walk of a standing stone or megalyph of some kind) I feel he was at the park that day for a reason, and was it the Stones that were important to him, the area or the wild edibles or a combination of all three? A question I still have all these years later. As we went towards the Old Greenhouse I suddenly saw the Elephant Stone it was hidden away in a corner, a great Delight to me and I was able to touch it again for the first time in 35 years, and it was at that point I realised my journey has come full circle, I no longer have the need for answers and I would like to spend my time helping others on their journeys whether it be in the mainstream research or the all natural and spiritual area. Each person given the vital tools and choices can then decide for themselves where their path will start, it may change over the time or remain the same. Whichever Journey you embark on I'm sure you will find your answers in your own time.
I think what I took from this was the 35 years of wasted time, over a fear of the unknown. I could have been enjoying myself in the way I did as a child there every weekend and yet I have avoided it, and I would like to go back now as often as I can manage, There are many Witnesses out there who feel the same i'm sure, years spent worried wondering if it's safe to go back and avoiding any similar places. The fear always winning over the need to get closure or just put the incident to bed, yet on returning it honestly put everything into perspective for me and I wish I had been ready to do this years ago.
It was nice to be able to show somebody all the green areas I know that are around, it's very hard to convey this in writing or a video and it just shows how important the green corridors that are around us all the time that we just walk right by without realising. So see if you can over the weekend or even for an hour, get back out into nature and try and fall in love again with all the things you did as a child. Climb a tree, jump the odd stream or just sit and take in the moment because that's all we have really, worrying about the past just brings more worry for the future. So trying to live in the moment is something I feel I need to concentrate on.
Hopefully this year Wheelchair or not I should be able to get back out there and do what I love to do best. Thank you IBZ’s without you I would not of even tried. And I don't think I will be the only witness you will help as the years go by, just to be listened to without judgement is a gift in itself, but to be able to put the past away where it belongs for me and others is a treasure. I'm looking forward to many more jewels of the day. If you would like to retrace your steps i would advise you to trust try, like me you may just surprise yourself.
Deborah Crossley Hatswell 17/3/17